February!

Day 20
February is going to be a busy month but it holds a lot of good things, too.  My fiance and I will hit our 100th day in our wedding countdown, he starts his new job, another dress fitting with my aunt, a night out with my Mom, brother, and sister to watch a theater production, the official start of student teaching, Valentine's Day, Black History Month, birthdays, the start of a new devotional schedule, and all kinds of things.  I am really looking forward to a new "start" even though the year has already started as well as the spring semester of college.  I can put January and all of its rough beginnings aside and focus on making things right, work on my prioritizing, strengthening my relationship with God, and remembering to be thankful for time with friends and those I love. 
It's always refreshing to have a new beginning, a "second chance" so to speak, even though we are just changing the date on the calendar.  I'm thankful for these chances and for the refreshing way of looking at things with a new and/or improved perspective and attitude.  Thank you, Lord, for the optimism and anticipation of making this month a better one than the last. 

Conviction

Day 19
The day started right off the bat with a dose of conviction.  I got up later than I wanted to, but still in enough time to get to church on time.  I almost didn't go but I told my fiance the night before that I would go.  So I went.  And even there, I was convicted to really know who the person of Jesus Christ was, what He had done, and why it all mattered.  He became the face of God, a recognizable, tangible figure and friend to whom the early Christians and today's Christians could confide.  Another bout of conviction haunted me the rest of the day as I worked to complete a ten page paper that's due tomorrow. I took more than my share of Facebook visits and email checks, but every time, I would feel the need to get back to the paper.  Thank you, Holy Spirit, for keeping me on track. 
I was also convicted of who I am as a friend and future wife to my fiance.  We had the opportunity to learn a little more about each other today through an interesting conversation.  After all that I've read in multiple relationship and premarital books, I still fall short of who I need to be to be his supporter and best friend.  I still have a few personal issues, like selfishness, to overcome and I'm slowly learning how to fight through them.  But in the meantime, he still chooses to love me for who I am, shortcomings and all, and he keeps encouraging me to grow into who God wants me to be. 
All in all, today was a bit rough mentally and emotionally.  But in the end, I am so thankful for the conviction that comes with being indwelt with the Holy Spirit.  It only helps me to learn and to grow into a better person, a woman after God's heart.

Great 80's Movies

Day 18
Who knew a few hours of watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade could be so much fun? My college hosted a movie night.  Even with the cheesy animation and typical storyline, it was fun watching it with the student body who laughed at all the intentionally funny parts and applauded the more heroic stunts.  Watching Sean Connery destroy the Nazi plane with a flock of birds was classic and demanded the loudest applause.  It was nice to have a night to spend away from the schoolwork and the crazy schedule with less-than-desired sleep. 
Sometimes chances to chill are hard to come by or are simply not affordable because of the amount of homework or being in the classroom for student teaching.  So a simple movie night helps keep us college kids sane.  I'm thankful for those carefree hours.  It's hard to not work constantly just to get things done and stay on top of work.  Don't forget to enjoy those moments, and share them with someone else. 

God is in control

Day 17
Being a teacher-in-training, staying on top of educational news is important.  Today, our student teaching class learned that the current administration wants to institute a new kind of standardized testing...nationwide.  It will require all students to take a test over each subject they have at the end of each school year.  The classes they don't pass on this test are to be retaken the next school year.  I was very much saddened and outraged by this news because it will only serve to hurt the education system and the students.  Think of the rise in dropouts from students who simply can't handle taking and retaking a class (or classes) that they don't feel school is worth the effort anymore; or the unnecessary stress it places on students, teachers, and school districts to get the students ready to take such a test.  Plus the students' pass or fail is determined solely on this new test; which gives no adequate reflection on the students' academic performance throughout the rest of the year.  And the poor students who simply aren't good test-takers...
My heart goes out to my fellow educators and present and future students.  But despite this sad news, I know God is in control and everything will turn out for the best, for which I am very thankful.

Unexpected Blessings

Day 16
Unexpected blessings such as a random note from a caring roommate, canceled class, and more time to be productive top my list for today.  I had a rough patch last night that apparently prompted one of my roommates to write me a note of encouragement today.  I pack my lunch before I go to student teach and I didn't know about the note until I opened my lunch bag and saw it laying on top of my sandwich.  It definitely boosted my mood and made me smile.  She's always so thoughtful and selfless like that.  Both of my roommates are absolutely amazing!  After student teaching, I raced (not literally) back to campus, trying to make it to class on time.  Come to find out, the class had been canceled.  I was flustered at first but that gave me two extra hours to get caught up on practicing and some unfinished paperwork.  I was also able to come home earlier and get some homework done. Yes, God is good. 

Students

Day 15
Being around different age groups and learning abilities in a school has made me realize how amazing God is in His design and how He has created each of those students uniquely.  I witnessed Kindergarten classes getting super excited over learning to read rhythm patterns and having a blast with it; fourth and fifth graders understanding the concept of sixteenth notes and seeing the light bulbs come on; troublesome boys who want attention; and thoughtful students who tend to sit near the back of the class, slowly figuring out the new concepts on their own.  Music classrooms are great opportunities to observe students because there's something about understanding musical concepts and being actively involved in making music that brings out personalities and individual traits that no other subject can. 
It's so exciting to see the younger students light up as they perform simple rhythms with percussion instruments and the older students make the connection between academic classes and music.  Even when the concept is slightly over their heads, they work so hard to understand it and it just brings a sense of joy to see that they want to learn so bad.  I sometimes wonder, and worry, about the students who simply refuse to put themselves into the music and the learning.  I automatically want to work with them one-on-one and see where they're coming from and what they think about learning and music.  Every student has a story and I guess it's just mind-boggling to be the one in charge of making sure they do get a decent education and enjoy it while the learning happens.  I'm thankful for my students now and the students of my future classroom.  I can only hope and pray to be all they need me to be as their teacher.

Companionship

Day 14
One of the many love languages that is necessary to a woman's heart is companionship.  Quality time with someone she loves or just likes to hang out with.  I don't realize I've missed it until I've gone without it for a while.  Student teaching today threw me for a loop partly because it was a different schedule than I was getting used to and it took me 10 freaking minutes to fight with the school's printer.  That and the array of driving skills that I encountered heading to campus gave me a headache.  But thank goodness for fellow music educator friends in class! They always seem to brighten my day by taking my mind off of the stress and onto goofy jokes and good discussions. I also was able to talk to my aunt while she prepared to make alterations on my wedding dress.  I don't get to talk to her very often and she always has some news on her side of the family or a good story from when she was younger or different techniques she uses in her seamstress work.  It's just so nice to forget about the day and dive into someone else's life and stories for a while.  It's also a bonus that my fiance likes to talk, so most times I can just enjoy his stories and listen in on what he's doing and what he's interested in.  It also helps us keep up with each other when we're apart.
Time with those whom I love seems to become more and more scarce.  So I'm thankful for the time I do get with them.  Don't take it for granted.

Unconditional Love

Day 13
Learning new things and growing closer to my fiance has showed me a least one thing: unconditional love.  We both had a busy weekend already so I tried to make sure I gave him his space; play video games and watch movies.  He deserved a chill day, especially before a six-day work week.  But, being the girl I am, I kept thinking to myself "I want to text him, but I probably shouldn't.  He needs his time" or "wow, he hasn't texted me in a while, maybe I should text him.  No, I will let him be."  On and on this thought process went til I finally tried ignore my thoughts.  But research shows that for a girl to ignore her thoughts is almost impossible.  Side note: Think of a woman's mind like the desktop of a computer.  All of her individual thoughts are represented by different windows that are open on the screen.  However, every thought that is not currently at the front of her mind is like a window that has been minimized.  It's not really being thought about but it's still there.  So basically that's how it was going with me trying to ignore those thoughts. 
When we did get a chance to talk, I started the conversation with telling him "we didn't talk much today" and "that movie seemed extra long". (Well, it was the third LOTR movie so it was really long) After all we've learned in our pre-marital counseling courses and the many books we've read, I should have known better than to start our conversation on a neutral or negative note.  From there, the conversation was awkward, tense, and frustrating.  It took us almost an hour to end our talk on a positive, forgiving note.  All that to say, he said he still loved me and he forgave me right then and there.  I've been a jerk to him on occasion and yet he still finds it easy to forgive me and move on.  It could be part of it being the nature of a man to easily forgive and forget, but he was sincere.  Plus, he even reminded me that I was beautiful.  Yes, he's a keeper.
How stupid of me to treat the love of my life with such a conversation starter as that.  I didn't deserve his forgiveness but he offered it, plus his love, freely and without reserve.  Apparently I still have a lot to learn from his and God's unconditional love, but I am much more thankful for it, especially after these kinds of situations. 

Birthdays

Day 12
I turned 22 today.  Interestingly enough, it was also on the 22nd of January; some consider it my "magical" year.  It's also my last birthday as an unmarried woman.  Wow, talk about a reality check!  But really, I just get more excited when I think about next year when I will be able to celebrate my birthday with my husband.  It's a good thought.
I'm thankful for birthdays because they celebrate life, and with that is the recognition of the blessings that God continues to give, beyond the birthday gifts.  This week has been a bundle of blessings: my fiance got a better job, my birthday, quality time with my roomies, seeing my grandparents, gathering ideas for the wedding, etc.  It's encouraging to look back at the week and count the many blessings God has given.  Each day is a blessing and birthdays celebrate the blessing of another year of learning, growing, and becoming more like the person God wants me to be.  I hope you can look back at the birthdays you've had or celebrated with someone else and realize that each of those years was a blessing from God, no matter how rough or hard that year may have been.

Answers to Prayer

Day 11
My fiance has been at a job where the leadership is impersonal, conditions aren't friendly, and there's no benefits for his position.  We've been praying for a new job that would be a better environment for him, but something that wouldn't interfere with our wedding and honeymoon plans.  He was willing to stick it out at the current occupation until we were married if he had to.  He doesn't have to wait it out any longer.  He was accepted at a new job across from his apartment that offered full employee benefits, better environment, and a courteous leadership that was more than willing to work around the wedding plans!  What an answer to prayer!  His hard, dedicated work and perfect attendance really helped but God made it happen.  He also has the opportunity to move up in six months while he's at the new position.  God really went above and beyond what we had considered necessary.  I can't stop thanking Him for what He's done for us today. 
It's so hard to remain positive sometimes, especially when you pray fervently and nothing seems to happen.  It's hard to not view God sometimes as a vending machine: okay God, I put in my prayer's worth today...where's the answer?  We are so much involved in being the leader of our own lives that we forget that God is really the Leader.  Yes, He has given us free will, but we also need to commit our lives to Him so that we can live according to His will and His goodness.  If you haven't heard from Him for a while, consider your prayer life.  Are you asking Him to answer a prayer on His own, how you want it answered, and are you praying with a half-hearted spirit?  Try to make your prayer genuine, like you're talking to a close friend, and ask Him to use you in the answer if that would be His will.  That's another thing.  I've been learning to pray for answers that are according to His will.  I usually find myself praying for things that I think should happen, that I think would be best.  Asking Him for an answer to be in His will helps align your plea with His desires, and in turn, gradually turns your heart and your desires to match His. 
Answers to prayer come in both yeses and noes.  I'm slowly learning to be content with both answers, because I'm trusting that the answers are His will since He knows what's best anyway.  He is good, and He wants the best for all of us, if only we could trust Him with that notion.  So, thank you, God, for answering our prayers, and help us to be content with the answer, and to trust You for what is best.

Comfort

Day 10
Comfort is one of those things we seek usually on a daily basis, at least some of us.  Comfort in knowing you'll make it home on the snowy, dangerous roads; comfort in the form of a warm blanket wrapped around you while you enjoy a lazy night at home watching crime shows on TV; comfort in knowing that everything will work out according to God's good and perfect plan.
My level of comfort-seeking was on multiple levels today.  I got to school safely, in a nice warm car which gave physical and mental comfort.  A very positive job opportunity has opened up even more for my fiance, so we both have comfort in knowing God will bring him through the interview to hopefully landing this new job.  And also the creature comforts; sitting snuggled up under a warm, fleece blanket watching random crime shows on TV, not having to worry about driving anywhere or having a lack of heat during the winter. 
I think about the simple and often forgotten comfort that God has given us in offering us salvation.  What a comfort it is to know that those who have accepted Christ as their savior will have everlasting life.  This life, with all of its shortcomings and disappointments, is not the end if we have life through Christ.  I hope you have that calm, reassuring comfort that only comes from the assurance of knowing you're going to Heaven.  If not, you're missing out on the greatest comfort there ever was and ever will be.  I'm thankful for the comforts God has given me not just today but every day. 

Productivity

Day 9
Due to the crazy slick roads today, I wasn't able to go to student teaching nor class.  So, my roommates and I stayed home and got a lot of homework done.  It was hard to sit still with an electronic reading assignment in front of me but it was worth it in the end.  We even got some housework done.  Laundry is now caught up, the dishes are clean, and the desk is organized.  Not much of this would have been done had it been a usual busy day. 
I'm thankful for productivity because it gives a sense of accomplishment, which in turns helps produce a better attitude at being able to cross yet another item off of the to-do list.  And after all the work was done, we even had time to watch a few TV episodes together, something that doesn't happen often.  So even after being productive, we were able to enjoy some down time and just hang out.  I wish we could have these kinds of days more often.  Think of all we could accomplish!
It's also nice to be lazy once in a while to give yourself a breather and reconnect with reality.  Especially if one's devotions have been lacking or relationships have been strained.  So give yourself some reward for getting so much done.  It's good for you.  And don't forget to thank God for the conviction of the Spirit to accomplish so much today.

Healthy Anticipation

Day 8
I tried on my wedding dress recently and experienced the same excitement and anticipation for the future as I did when my now fiance asked me to marry him and when I first knew that I had found the dress.  Things are moving along nicely and the date is just around the corner to forever.  It's hard not to smile when I think about the future with my best friend. 
Anticipation can be healthy in looking forward to what is good, like getting married or going on a long awaited trip.  It turns ugly when that anticipation is pointed toward things that harm others or selfish ambition.  But the healthy anticipation is so exciting! Think of a time when you really looked forward to something and you can't really think of anything else.  It helps keep you going and puts a smile on your face when the day may take a turn for the not-so-good. 
I'm thankful for such anticipation because it's something tangible to hold on to besides God's Word and prayer.  It's something that gives us hope and lifts up our moods and attitudes.  So look on the bright side next time life gets you down and remember to thank God for giving you something to look forward to.

Leadership

Day 7
This is kind of a vague topic but I really am thankful for good leadership, those who are willing to stick out their necks for the good of those willing to follow them.  As student teachers, my colleagues and I are required to attend certain local school functions that included a board meeting.  Yay.  I have never been to a board meeting before but this meeting proved that the school district was under fairly decent leadership.  I know that my old high school's school board was run by twisted politics at times but this district had some good things going for them. 
They were in the middle of figuring out a hard financial problem that would basically determine the existence of the school district in the next few years.  It was hard to watch the statistics as the monetary values dropped year after year.  Yet the presentations brought forward by each board member were honest, clear, and sincere.  They told all they could tell to the public audience and were genuinely saddened by the hard decision that they had to make in order to get themselves back on their feet financially.  Emotions ran high in the commenting parents who voiced their opinions yet the board answered every question with accurate statistics or a promise to get the question answered as soon as possible.  They were doing all they could in light of the situation without the unnecessary loftiness and impersonal demeanor that so many in leadership possess. 
I'm thankful this district has a strong leadership and I'm thankful that those in leadership don't shy away from their duties amid the accusations and emotional pleads from the parents.
It's interesting how we can act the same way toward our Leader.  We cry and whine when things look bleak or they don't go our way and yet He continues to lead us because He knows the rough times won't last forever.  His plan sometimes doesn't make sense to us, as the proposed plan looked to the public audience at the meeting, but it will turn out for the better in the long run...as cliche as that sounds.  It's our job to try to handle our human emotions as best as we can, because tears are allowed, and trust that He will pull through for us as He's always done.

Talent

Day 6
My brother is one of the top musicians in his high school.  He had tryouts today for the Spring musical "Into the Woods".  Last year he was the male supporting lead role for "Footloose"...and he was a freshman.  Now, as a sophomore, he has a good chance of getting another one of the lead roles.  He has an awesome sense of tone and can match pitch on the drop of a hat, even with his deep, bass voice.  Not only is he talented in voice, he is also the top trombonist in the high school bands.  Whenever I go home to visit a football game, he's the loudest one on the field during halftime.  Music runs in the family, but if he were younger, he could almost be considered somewhat of a prodigy.  Yeah, my younger brother is talented.  Enough said.
I'm thankful for talent because we all have one...or a few and they are each given to us by God.  Now if only we all would use each of our talents for His glory, as an offering of thanks for giving the talents to us in the first place.  It's difficult sometimes for me when I'm practicing my trumpet and I just can't seem to get over a particular spot in a more difficult piece.  Frustration was usually my default and I would have to take a five minute break to collect my nerves in order to practice any longer. I very often forget that I wouldn't be playing trumpet if God hadn't granted me the talent to play and perform at the level that I'm at.  I remember first choosing which instrument to start out on in elementary school and I picked up the trumpet.  The instructor told me to hold it up to my lips and make a sort of buzzing sound.  Out came a clear G and I haven't looked back since.  Anyway, I've realized that I've misplaced my gratefulness for my talent.  So lately, when I do hit a snag during a practice session, I have to remind myself that I didn't get this far by myself, it was God who granted me this wonderful gift and I need to give Him the recognition He deserves. 
It is easy to take such everyday things for granted, but I'm constantly challenged to return the glory to Him; let Him take the spotlight as I provide the music.

Random Visits

Day 5
Breaking away from the typical day to day routine is always nice, especially when you get to spend it with someone special.  I only get to see my fiance about once a week while I'm finishing up my college work so any time with him is welcome.  Tonight I stopped by his work to visit with him during his lunch break.  I brought the food, McDonald's, and we were able to share a nice half hour together. 
It's always great to spend time with someone you love.  I got to thinking that I'm sure God likes to make random visits to us, to keep us on track, usually through our conscience.  Whenever we feel convicted about something or even feel guilt, we are feeling the influence of the Holy Spirit as He continues to teach us right from wrong.  It's a random correlation but it works. 
I'm looking forward to the day when I get to marry my best friend.  We hit the one hundred and teens today in our countdown and we both are very happy that the days are flying by.  God is good and I'm thankful for the opportunities to make random visits with him.  It helps keep us together, encourages our communication, and increases the excitement of the next time we get to visit.  He's the greatest and I'm so thankful God blessed our first "random visit" when we first met. 

Laughter

Day 4
Laughter is certainly the best medicine.  It cures sadness and a bad day, makes for good times, and even works your abs if you laugh hard and often enough.  While observing my cooperating teacher for my student teaching internship, I noticed she laughs...a lot.  But it's not an obnoxious laugh, it keeps the mood light and the day more enjoyable.  The students enjoy their time in music class because she is light-hearted and quick to laugh.  It doesn't get in the way of any necessary discipline and probably even cuts down on discipline problems because she can have fun with her students instead of harping on them all of the time. 
I went to a birthday party tonight that included a fun game.  It was neat to hear the different laughs that people have.  It was quite contagious, too.  After a long, crazy day it felt good to share a good chuckle with friends and help end the day on a lighter note.  I notice laughter also solves issues in disputes.  When in disagreement, instead of jumping in with a harsh tone and angry words, it's easier to see the humor in it and the superficiality of such a unnecessary argument.  The dispute never lasts long when approached with a level head and a positive attitude...that can easily lead to laughing. 
Do you ever get into a laughing fit with good friends or with close family members? Doesn't it hurt sometimes?  I love those times! It always feels good to share such an intense funny moment with those you love.  Or while watching a movie with a whimsical joke thrown in every now and then.  If you've had a bad day, get together with someone and watch something goofy or fun.  I suggest Looney Tunes for light, cheesy humor or something that has funny moments in it like Steel Magnolias (which also has a much more serious note in the movie).   Don't be so caught up in life and a crammed schedule that you don't take time to have a nice, genuine laugh with somebody.  It's usually those small, non-important moments of the day that make or break our outlook on the rest of the week and beyond. 

Provision

Day 3
Today seemed to be full of examples of His provision.  I don't often realize how much He does provide for us, in big and small ways.  I'm thankful for His provision of breath, sight, smell, the ability to walk, to embrace, and much more of the ordinary things that we are capable of doing every day.  I'm also thankful for the larger things such as money to buy groceries and purchase textbooks.  And for providing job opportunities for my fiance; something we had been praying about.  Gosh, God is amazing, isn't He?
Today was also busy and full of things I had to accomplish both physically and mentally.  I got overwhelmed thinking about the up and coming student teaching, planning for important graduation requirements, and figuring out the rest of the wedding details.  But that list brings on another remembrance of His provision.  He has given me the capability to plan ahead, practice diligently, and someone to whom I can turn for strength, encouragement, and help. 
So as I go to sleep tonight, my heart is relatively light despite the hectic day.  I'm not the best Bible buff but I know somewhere it says not to worry because He even cares enough for the sparrows to provide basic food for them to survive.  Tomorrow has issues of its own, so only worry about today (take one day at a time).  I can go to bed trusting Him to provide me with the basic necessities as well as what I need to get through the rest of the school year...as well as a best friend whom I can count on.  Yup, I'm going to fall asleep with a smile tonight.  God is good!

Questions

Day 2
Sitting in an education philosophy class today, I was bombarded with many thought-provoking questions that really made me think about "why" we do what we do in education.  I won't go into detail because it would take up a lot of space.  I also was prompted to ask what the difference was between God's definition of "good" and our definition of "good". We call God good but are we simply limiting Him to a list of attributes that we consider "good"?  Think about it.  Write down a quick list of attributes that you would consider "good".  Does God's nature line up with all of those words?  Think of His commands in the Old Testament to leaders to wipe out entire nations in His name.  Would you consider those acts "good"?
Questions not only keep us thinking on our toes about deep, theological issues but they also are part of accountability and knowledge.  How else do we keep each other in check on certain things besides creeping on them all the time?  Just kidding.  We ask them questions about their day, what they've done, their thoughts, etc.  We also gain knowledge when we ask questions.  How would we know about what's going on in the government and life in general if we didn't ask questions.  "I wonder what's going on with the economy today?" You wouldn't have to look far for that answer but it was the wondering and the question that brought that seeking-out to action.  Here's an idea.  Count how many times you ask questions throughout the day, including the ones you ask silently.
God, you created us as curious beings, always searching and discovering new ideas and facts.  Thank you for giving us the capability to think on things and to articulate our curiosity in the form of questions.  We definitely will never know everything in a lifetime.  That is reserved for Your knowledge and omniscience.  Thank you for being all-knowing and for allowing us the brainpower to mentally and physically pursue the answers to our questions. 

Thankful for Friends

Day 1
I, along with a few of my girl friends, was able to spend some time with an old friend over some pizza and cheesy bread sticks tonight.  We chatted about life among us and what was new.  She was always the one who had the wise word, as well as a few jokes or funny habits.  The fellowship we had was refreshing, a nice interruption to the otherwise busy day. 
We got on the topic of thankfulness and not taking significant things for granted.  Of course there are always those tidbits of life that could use a tweaking but I was reminded to keep in mind that what I'm experiencing right now in my life may never come again and remain a memory spanning four years of my life.
Just this simple exchange of thoughts caused me to take seriously the time I do get with my friends.  It is always a blessing and I don't make enough time to savor the fun moments that friends bring into life. 
Lord, thank you for the friends in my life and the many blessings they've given me.  Help me to remember to make time for them and to genuinely enjoy the fellowship you've given us.  Thank you for the bonds we share and the common bond of Christ.  You truly are amazing, God.  I love you!