I'm struggling with myself again today. Feelings of inadequacy and not feeling important or wanted are starting to really gnaw at my thoughts and heart. I know that I'm in a great position in life: married, able to afford groceries and small splurges every week, a great husband, a job, and a car. But ever since I woke up, I haven't been able to get past the thoughts of worthlessness, lack of self-confidence, and the inability to be myself. Many times I feel stupid because I can't seem to figure out the simple things in life like depositing a check correctly or choosing the right time to get a particular item at the grocery store. I do have my own opinion of how to do certain things, like depositing that check or deciding which item to get when. But my opinion and ways of doing things seems second best. I've developed an attitude of apathy because I've convinced myself that my ways, my opinions are not the best...so I automatically go with someone else's ideas or opinions. I really have compromised my individuality when I developed that attitude of apathy. I no longer make an effort to voice my opinion or my thoughts on everyday things. Maybe part of the reason is because I feel like I will get shot down or blown off because my ideas aren't as good as someone else.
Something else that might be contributing to my emotional strain today is the harsh reality that I have been living in a completely new area for five months now and I still don't have anyone to call my friend, besides my husband. I am alone...and it sucks. So who can I turn to when I'm struggling, who can I turn to when my day is off kilter from the very start, who can I turn to when I need a change of pace from the day-to-day monotony? I started thinking of the familiar places I knew when I was younger and people who I could call up and hang out with regularly on a Friday night or at school. Then I think back to where I am now. A new place, new people, and not a hint of anything familiar.
As you can probably tell, my faith has been weakening. I'm starting to realize that my sense of security has been refocused to thoughts of who I used to be and the things I used to know; instead of on the true sense of security: God. I can bottle up my feelings for quite a long time until they start eating away at me, like they are now. I have no excitement for the Word, or getting back that time I had with God. I know He's there waiting for me to rekindle our friendship but I don't think I can keep up this solo act. I need encouragement and a familiar face. If you're reading this, please say a quick prayer for me. To know that someone's simply praying for me will help so much. I will make an effort to get my faith back where it needs to be; on the things above, not on the things of this earth. It's going to be a struggle, since I am so overcome by my thoughts and feelings right now. God, You are the Answer to all my questions, the comfort and security in every time of uncertainty and self-doubt, the great big hug when I, as your child, am wandering aimlessly in the midst of my own thoughts and feelings. Please help me become the person You want me to be, and to deal with these emotions properly. I'm breaking down and I'm becoming as soft clay in Your hands. Thank you for your patience with me. I love you, Lord.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Lies
I need to admit to myself that I have been struggling with feelings of inadequacy. They are lies that Satan has been telling me for years but I've not succeeded in ignoring them recently. I find it best if I write my thoughts down, hence this blog, so I am going to list what I've been feeling:
Satan's lies (and maybe some of them are true...):
-too shy
-too quiet
-can't think for myself
-not assertive enough
-too clumsy
-not good enough
-too geeky
-push-over
-not loving enough
-no common sense
-too awkward
-not "spiritual" enough
-can't communicate well
-talk too fast
-think too much
-too indecisive
-too poor
-too sheltered
-not the person people need me to be
-not the person people want me to be
-too much of a loner
That's all I can think of for right now... As a Christian, I know that not all of these are true, but it's so easy to believe them more often than not. I'm asking for help, spiritual guidance, and simply a listening ear. And thank you for doing just that. God bless.
Satan's lies (and maybe some of them are true...):
-too shy
-too quiet
-can't think for myself
-not assertive enough
-too clumsy
-not good enough
-too geeky
-push-over
-not loving enough
-no common sense
-too awkward
-not "spiritual" enough
-can't communicate well
-talk too fast
-think too much
-too indecisive
-too poor
-too sheltered
-not the person people need me to be
-not the person people want me to be
-too much of a loner
That's all I can think of for right now... As a Christian, I know that not all of these are true, but it's so easy to believe them more often than not. I'm asking for help, spiritual guidance, and simply a listening ear. And thank you for doing just that. God bless.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Difference Between Religion and Relationship?
What is religion? It can be the basis for answers to life’s mysteries and it can be a labyrinth of rules and regulations by which to align your lifestyle. But, what if you simply want to live a better life without getting mixed up in all the stipulations and traditions that come with getting mixed in with a certain religion, or denomination for that matter? A new friend of mine started to ask questions about Judgment and what happens when we die; do we go straight to Heaven or Hell when we die or is there a waiting period for everyone who does die until the Day of Judgment comes? After some friendly debating with a few other “religious” people, we concluded that it really comes down to one’s own beliefs and what feels right to them. Then, you can choose which church to attend depending on how well that church fits your personal interests and beliefs. Or is that the correct conclusion? I don’t believe so.
It took some effort for me not to go into a speech of how the Bible is the ultimate authority, no questions asked. Maybe I should have though because the Bible truly is the basis of all truth and the ultimate survival guide to living life according to the will of God. However, I didn’t think it was appropriate at the time to expound on that. Let’s go back to what religion is. Personally, I think that religion is a group of many different categories, a.k.a. denominations, that basically say the same thing but some with either fundamental or subtle differences. For instance, the Islam religion states one way to “salvation” and has its own explanation of what happens after we die. Christianity, on the other hand, also has a definition of salvation and what happens after we die. But what distinguishes one religion from the next? Is there a “right” religion? Is there an overarching principle that sets one apart from the others? If one believes that the Bible is the authoritative Word of God and is divinely inspired, then yes, one religion does trump the others, and whips them at their own game in the process. However, the question still arises about how do we know which religion is the “right” religion especially if someone doesn’t have as much of an understanding of the Bible as, say, a student studying to be a Bible major? What is one hugely fundamental trait that sets one religion completely apart from the rest? Consider this: Buddha was the head “prophet” per se in Buddhism. However, he’s dead. Mohammed was the prophet of Islam. He has a problem as well; he’s dead. Jesus Christ was the “prophet” of Christianity. According to the Bible, he was dead…but he rose again. He conquered death! I don’t know about you, but I would much rather have a personal relationship with someone who’s still alive and can master the powers of death rather than a dead guy who’s still getting to know his grave. That’s one hugely fundamental trait that sets one particular religion apart from the rest; the fact that we can have a personal relationship with the main character of the most important book ever written! And, who is capable of reciprocating that relationship back to those who follow him!
Back to the conversation with my friend. If only I had the time and the conviction to have taken the conversation a step farther. She and another friend who were sitting with me while we discussed religious issues were having a difficult time finding religion worth their time. They were overwhelmed a bit apprehensive at the fact that there was so much to religion (going back to the rules and regulations issue above). True, there is a LOT of background info and different quirks behind every denomination. But, the fact is the relationship between you and the one who defeated death itself for your sake is so much easier to take in and understand. The rest comes with committing your entire life to getting to know him better and to know his will for you life. May God give us the opportunity to take the conversation one step further so those completely overwhelmed by the nuances of religion can understand the reason for it all. One thing that my friend said that really struck me was, “There’s just so much to religion, I don’t think I could ever learn about it to be want to be religious”. Ouch. If that’s the only thing hindering them from possibly entering a relationship with Christ, we’ve got some clarifying to do, brothers and sisters. May we grab the chance to explain the importance between religion and relationship.
It took some effort for me not to go into a speech of how the Bible is the ultimate authority, no questions asked. Maybe I should have though because the Bible truly is the basis of all truth and the ultimate survival guide to living life according to the will of God. However, I didn’t think it was appropriate at the time to expound on that. Let’s go back to what religion is. Personally, I think that religion is a group of many different categories, a.k.a. denominations, that basically say the same thing but some with either fundamental or subtle differences. For instance, the Islam religion states one way to “salvation” and has its own explanation of what happens after we die. Christianity, on the other hand, also has a definition of salvation and what happens after we die. But what distinguishes one religion from the next? Is there a “right” religion? Is there an overarching principle that sets one apart from the others? If one believes that the Bible is the authoritative Word of God and is divinely inspired, then yes, one religion does trump the others, and whips them at their own game in the process. However, the question still arises about how do we know which religion is the “right” religion especially if someone doesn’t have as much of an understanding of the Bible as, say, a student studying to be a Bible major? What is one hugely fundamental trait that sets one religion completely apart from the rest? Consider this: Buddha was the head “prophet” per se in Buddhism. However, he’s dead. Mohammed was the prophet of Islam. He has a problem as well; he’s dead. Jesus Christ was the “prophet” of Christianity. According to the Bible, he was dead…but he rose again. He conquered death! I don’t know about you, but I would much rather have a personal relationship with someone who’s still alive and can master the powers of death rather than a dead guy who’s still getting to know his grave. That’s one hugely fundamental trait that sets one particular religion apart from the rest; the fact that we can have a personal relationship with the main character of the most important book ever written! And, who is capable of reciprocating that relationship back to those who follow him!
Back to the conversation with my friend. If only I had the time and the conviction to have taken the conversation a step farther. She and another friend who were sitting with me while we discussed religious issues were having a difficult time finding religion worth their time. They were overwhelmed a bit apprehensive at the fact that there was so much to religion (going back to the rules and regulations issue above). True, there is a LOT of background info and different quirks behind every denomination. But, the fact is the relationship between you and the one who defeated death itself for your sake is so much easier to take in and understand. The rest comes with committing your entire life to getting to know him better and to know his will for you life. May God give us the opportunity to take the conversation one step further so those completely overwhelmed by the nuances of religion can understand the reason for it all. One thing that my friend said that really struck me was, “There’s just so much to religion, I don’t think I could ever learn about it to be want to be religious”. Ouch. If that’s the only thing hindering them from possibly entering a relationship with Christ, we’ve got some clarifying to do, brothers and sisters. May we grab the chance to explain the importance between religion and relationship.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Chance of a Lifetime
Ever since I started college I told God I was content with remaining single the rest of my life. I had a female professor who was so much in love with God that it was somewhat of an inspiration to me to live my life similar to how she lived hers. I had a good core group of girls from my Bible study who were all okay with being single which continued to solidify my contentedness.
Of course, God's opinion is much better than my own and He must have been laughing when I first told Him I was willing to be single the rest of my life because my freshman year a random guy came up to me, noticed where I was from by my high school letterman jacket, and introduced himself. It so happens that we ended up hanging out a lot the next year and eventually started dating. Yes, God does have a sense of humor, and yes, He certainly does know what is best for us.
I can now say that we are extremely blessed to have been married for just short of two months now. It has been the experience of a lifetime. There's no other happiness than sharing life everyday with your best friend. God continues to bring us closer together and to Him while allowing us to experience married life with all its joys and harder times. I'm so thankful Dustin had the courage to ask me to marry him, I couldn't ask for a better husband; he has always been my best friend since we've known each other. It truly is a chance of a lifetime to be his partner for the rest of our lives. God, thank you so much for Dustin and our marriage!
Of course, God's opinion is much better than my own and He must have been laughing when I first told Him I was willing to be single the rest of my life because my freshman year a random guy came up to me, noticed where I was from by my high school letterman jacket, and introduced himself. It so happens that we ended up hanging out a lot the next year and eventually started dating. Yes, God does have a sense of humor, and yes, He certainly does know what is best for us.
I can now say that we are extremely blessed to have been married for just short of two months now. It has been the experience of a lifetime. There's no other happiness than sharing life everyday with your best friend. God continues to bring us closer together and to Him while allowing us to experience married life with all its joys and harder times. I'm so thankful Dustin had the courage to ask me to marry him, I couldn't ask for a better husband; he has always been my best friend since we've known each other. It truly is a chance of a lifetime to be his partner for the rest of our lives. God, thank you so much for Dustin and our marriage!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Challenge for Purity
June 27, 2011
Yesterday Dustin and I visited a church and the pastor gave a sermon on one of the Beatitudes, the one about those who are pure in heart. After the message, he gave the congregation a challenge to think about the past week and how "pure" we'd been in thought, word, and action. I have to admit that I didn't do too good of a job at the whole purity thing. He also gave us the challenge to ask God to help us to be pursue purity each morning when we get up. After hearing that message, I did focus more on my actions, thoughts, and words. This morning I even thought of that prayer the pastor prompted us to pray. It was certainly convicting to be given that reality check and to have that challenge stay with me through the next day.
I will also admit that my spiritual life has been more or less at a standstill. I've also kind of ignored the convictions to get back in the Bible for study. I keep telling myself that I need to get my homework done or I need to get something else done...or I simply could do it tomorrow, which rarely happens. How am I supposed to continue to grow as a Christian and as a godly wife to my husband without constantly living in the Word? Pretty lame I think. So, that's definitely something I need to actively work on; enough with the passive attitude. Lord, thank you for convicting me of my impurity and my need to get back in the Word. I need Your help to remain diligent in pursuing Your Word constantly. Thank you for being patient with me and thank you for your faithfulness in helping me get back on track.
Yesterday Dustin and I visited a church and the pastor gave a sermon on one of the Beatitudes, the one about those who are pure in heart. After the message, he gave the congregation a challenge to think about the past week and how "pure" we'd been in thought, word, and action. I have to admit that I didn't do too good of a job at the whole purity thing. He also gave us the challenge to ask God to help us to be pursue purity each morning when we get up. After hearing that message, I did focus more on my actions, thoughts, and words. This morning I even thought of that prayer the pastor prompted us to pray. It was certainly convicting to be given that reality check and to have that challenge stay with me through the next day.
I will also admit that my spiritual life has been more or less at a standstill. I've also kind of ignored the convictions to get back in the Bible for study. I keep telling myself that I need to get my homework done or I need to get something else done...or I simply could do it tomorrow, which rarely happens. How am I supposed to continue to grow as a Christian and as a godly wife to my husband without constantly living in the Word? Pretty lame I think. So, that's definitely something I need to actively work on; enough with the passive attitude. Lord, thank you for convicting me of my impurity and my need to get back in the Word. I need Your help to remain diligent in pursuing Your Word constantly. Thank you for being patient with me and thank you for your faithfulness in helping me get back on track.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Biblical Clarity
June 25, 2011
Yup, it's been a while, blog. Since I'm back, with the gentle bidding from my husband, I'm going to focus on some thoughts I've been dealing with for a while and be somewhat candid in my approach, so bear with me. My parents got a divorce last August and since then my father has been seeing another lady whom he knew from high school. Anyway, they got married yesterday....I didn't attend. I really had some struggles regarding whether or not I should have gone. I took some time to think and pray and talk to Dustin about it. It came down to what the Bible said about such relationships and divorce. On one hand, I did want to honor my father's request to attend but on the other hand my conscience was really bugging me about the "rightness" of it all. I do not want to offend or anger my father in sticking with what I felt was right, but I couldn't bring myself to publicly support the situation.
I'm still learning how to deal with the whole reality of divorce and my father's remarriage. I don't know how to react to it at times. Maybe that's why I'm especially thankful for the clarity of Scripture in times like these. Thank you, Lord, for the purity and clarity of Your word. May I continue to pursue Your truth and may it continue to be a lamp for my feet and a light for my path.
Yup, it's been a while, blog. Since I'm back, with the gentle bidding from my husband, I'm going to focus on some thoughts I've been dealing with for a while and be somewhat candid in my approach, so bear with me. My parents got a divorce last August and since then my father has been seeing another lady whom he knew from high school. Anyway, they got married yesterday....I didn't attend. I really had some struggles regarding whether or not I should have gone. I took some time to think and pray and talk to Dustin about it. It came down to what the Bible said about such relationships and divorce. On one hand, I did want to honor my father's request to attend but on the other hand my conscience was really bugging me about the "rightness" of it all. I do not want to offend or anger my father in sticking with what I felt was right, but I couldn't bring myself to publicly support the situation.
I'm still learning how to deal with the whole reality of divorce and my father's remarriage. I don't know how to react to it at times. Maybe that's why I'm especially thankful for the clarity of Scripture in times like these. Thank you, Lord, for the purity and clarity of Your word. May I continue to pursue Your truth and may it continue to be a lamp for my feet and a light for my path.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Dinners Together
Married life is amazing so far! God has certainly been good to Dustin and I, even through financial issues. We have a roof over our head, a bed, plenty of food, transportation, jobs, and each other. It makes me sad to see couples who have been married for years who can't stand to talk to each other when ordering food or simply carrying on a conversation. It makes me all the more thankful for the fun and love we share as newly-weds, something that I pray and hope doesn't diminish as the years pass. It also makes me thankful for the meals we get to share together. Dustin is already a pretty good cook and we get to share in the fun of preparing our meals. I know we are definitely not going hungry anytime soon with the way he cooks.
Several people have told me that the fun won't last after five years. I wish I had the guts to ask them "why not?" Why shouldn't the fun last after the first five years of marriage? Why did you fall in love in the first place? What was that special something that made you fall head over heels for the man beside you? Why not work at keeping the fun coming and that precious love alive? It's discouraging to hear such remarks, especially after having been married for only three weeks. But then, I remember the sweet older couples with whom Dustin and I learned. One particular couple who were our pre-marriage mentors are still so in love with each other; it's evident in the way they treat each other, look at each other, and put each other before themselves. What a testimony! I hope and pray, and am willing to work for, that our marriage remains strong; even though we may get on each other's nerves, even if we have stupid little arguments, even if times get tough, even after we have kids, may we never forget the reason why we fell in love in the first place. God, bless those who are married and are going through a rough patch in their marriage. I ask that You grant them strength, wisdom, and the selflessness needed to get through. God, I also pray that You continue to strengthen our own marriage, to learn from our mistakes, and to always keep You and each other ahead of ourselves.
Several people have told me that the fun won't last after five years. I wish I had the guts to ask them "why not?" Why shouldn't the fun last after the first five years of marriage? Why did you fall in love in the first place? What was that special something that made you fall head over heels for the man beside you? Why not work at keeping the fun coming and that precious love alive? It's discouraging to hear such remarks, especially after having been married for only three weeks. But then, I remember the sweet older couples with whom Dustin and I learned. One particular couple who were our pre-marriage mentors are still so in love with each other; it's evident in the way they treat each other, look at each other, and put each other before themselves. What a testimony! I hope and pray, and am willing to work for, that our marriage remains strong; even though we may get on each other's nerves, even if we have stupid little arguments, even if times get tough, even after we have kids, may we never forget the reason why we fell in love in the first place. God, bless those who are married and are going through a rough patch in their marriage. I ask that You grant them strength, wisdom, and the selflessness needed to get through. God, I also pray that You continue to strengthen our own marriage, to learn from our mistakes, and to always keep You and each other ahead of ourselves.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Honeymoon
*I'm giving up on counting how many days I'm on because I want this blog to be more than just another self-appointed assignment. I want it to be enjoyable to myself and to however reads it and I think by simply writing about different days, not the number of that day, will help me stay focused on the true reason for this blog.
I've joked that I would have to get married just to have a day off. Well, it's true! Dustin and I went to Kentucky for our honeymoon and it was the most relaxing time I've had in a few years I think. Even the drive down was a chance to enjoy the changing scenery as the farther south we went; the rolling hills and green fields were everywhere. When we got to our destination, the first thing I noticed was there were two horses standing out in a pasture next to a huge, colonial style home that belonged to our innkeeper. Dustin told me the horses were one of the things that stood out to him when he was choosing lodging options. So, right off the bat, he blew me away with keeping my love for horses in mind when planning the honeymoon.
Our first visit while we were down there was the Mammoth Caves. We've been to a few of Ohio's caves but nothing compares with the immense size of the caves down in Kentucky! We took a two-hour tour, with a group of six-graders, through part of the Caves and were continuously blown away by the sheer volume of each room. It definitely was quite the experience.
The next day he took me to the Corvette Factory in Bowling Green, KY. Who knew that a car factory would be so interesting? We learned so much about what makes a Corvette a Corvette and all the special details that go into making it the modern classic sportscar that it is today. And for being a factory, the employees really seemed to enjoy their job which made the experience more enjoyable than someplace where the employees acted like they would love to be anywhere but there. Dustin did another amazing job on planning that visit. We also had the opportunity to meet Art, a guy who owns a car shop that buys and sells classic cars from the 50's to today's models. He allowed us a free self-guided tour of his shop as well as giving us a souvenir magnet free of charge! We got to chat with him about our honeymoon and a little bit about our faith and it did seem like he had an idea of the Christian faith so that was very encouraging.
Dustin is a huge fan of trains and model railroading so our next stop was the L&N Railpark Museum, home to one of the original trains that used to run on the line from Louisville to Nashville primarily. Dustin could tell you much more about it than I, but it was very interesting and it is part of America's history and was a great influence in the growth in some of the southern states. Our guide took us through the train cars, explaining their importance and some history behind each car. One car, the mail car, had to go through extensive renovation before it was even rail-worthy. The engine itself had just been redone in 2009 and looked like it did in its prime. The museum itself gave more background on the line's history and how certain events tied into the United States' history. I have a better understanding of why Dustin enjoys trains so much, I think.
Our last main event was an upscale dinner out. The location was called 440 Main, a Bayou-style venue with a laid-back atmosphere. Dustin has some good taste! They even gave us a complimentary champagne toast because we were on our honeymoon.
I'm so thankful for my husband and his amazing planning abilities to book our honeymoon. It was certainly a time to remember, of hanging out with my best friend doing everything together, and kicking off married life on a good note. God, thank you so much for Dustin and for a great honeymoon. I will cherish those memories.
I've joked that I would have to get married just to have a day off. Well, it's true! Dustin and I went to Kentucky for our honeymoon and it was the most relaxing time I've had in a few years I think. Even the drive down was a chance to enjoy the changing scenery as the farther south we went; the rolling hills and green fields were everywhere. When we got to our destination, the first thing I noticed was there were two horses standing out in a pasture next to a huge, colonial style home that belonged to our innkeeper. Dustin told me the horses were one of the things that stood out to him when he was choosing lodging options. So, right off the bat, he blew me away with keeping my love for horses in mind when planning the honeymoon.
Our first visit while we were down there was the Mammoth Caves. We've been to a few of Ohio's caves but nothing compares with the immense size of the caves down in Kentucky! We took a two-hour tour, with a group of six-graders, through part of the Caves and were continuously blown away by the sheer volume of each room. It definitely was quite the experience.
The next day he took me to the Corvette Factory in Bowling Green, KY. Who knew that a car factory would be so interesting? We learned so much about what makes a Corvette a Corvette and all the special details that go into making it the modern classic sportscar that it is today. And for being a factory, the employees really seemed to enjoy their job which made the experience more enjoyable than someplace where the employees acted like they would love to be anywhere but there. Dustin did another amazing job on planning that visit. We also had the opportunity to meet Art, a guy who owns a car shop that buys and sells classic cars from the 50's to today's models. He allowed us a free self-guided tour of his shop as well as giving us a souvenir magnet free of charge! We got to chat with him about our honeymoon and a little bit about our faith and it did seem like he had an idea of the Christian faith so that was very encouraging.
Dustin is a huge fan of trains and model railroading so our next stop was the L&N Railpark Museum, home to one of the original trains that used to run on the line from Louisville to Nashville primarily. Dustin could tell you much more about it than I, but it was very interesting and it is part of America's history and was a great influence in the growth in some of the southern states. Our guide took us through the train cars, explaining their importance and some history behind each car. One car, the mail car, had to go through extensive renovation before it was even rail-worthy. The engine itself had just been redone in 2009 and looked like it did in its prime. The museum itself gave more background on the line's history and how certain events tied into the United States' history. I have a better understanding of why Dustin enjoys trains so much, I think.
Our last main event was an upscale dinner out. The location was called 440 Main, a Bayou-style venue with a laid-back atmosphere. Dustin has some good taste! They even gave us a complimentary champagne toast because we were on our honeymoon.
I'm so thankful for my husband and his amazing planning abilities to book our honeymoon. It was certainly a time to remember, of hanging out with my best friend doing everything together, and kicking off married life on a good note. God, thank you so much for Dustin and for a great honeymoon. I will cherish those memories.
Graduation and Wedding Preparation
Time to catch up with my life from the past four weeks. May 9th through the 14th were possibly the busiest two weeks of my life! Getting ready for graduation, visiting with friends one last time, and then finishing wedding details consumed my life for a while. In getting ready for graduation, it never hit me that I would never see some of my friends ever again until after the fact. On the day of graduation, my friends and I went around taking pictures with each other and enjoyed those last few moments together. It really was just a blur of a day, but I do remember hearing my music major friends being called to walk across the stage and I do remember feeling so proud of all of us for completing such rigorous degrees. After the ceremony, my family and then-fiance went out for lunch. It was kind of stressful having all the attention being on me and questions being asked all at the same time. I was very much ready to be done with the gifts and the small talk but I was thankful to spend some time with my family and friends before focusing solely on the wedding.
The week before the wedding was full of planning, hanging out with bridesmaids, and making sure all the last minute decorations were where they needed to be. The rehearsal went smoothly and we all enjoyed a nice meal afterwards. That night, all the bridesmaids and I slept the night in my grandpa's RV. I'm so thankful for those girls and their friendship. The day of the wedding was beautiful! Everything went smoothly, the ceremony and reception were beautiful, and everyone seemed to be happy and enjoying themselves. The only hitch was when my husband's brother, the best man, got too hot in his suit and fainted right beside us while we were starting our vows. He made a recovery and everything continued as it should. I'm glad he was ok and that he was able to complete the ceremony. God is certainly blessed us with a wonderful circle of friends and family who are willing to share that special day with us. Now Dustin and I are happily married and are beginning our life together. Thank you, Lord, for these past two weeks. They have been both a joy and a challenge but I am thankful for every moment of the last two weeks of my single life.
The week before the wedding was full of planning, hanging out with bridesmaids, and making sure all the last minute decorations were where they needed to be. The rehearsal went smoothly and we all enjoyed a nice meal afterwards. That night, all the bridesmaids and I slept the night in my grandpa's RV. I'm so thankful for those girls and their friendship. The day of the wedding was beautiful! Everything went smoothly, the ceremony and reception were beautiful, and everyone seemed to be happy and enjoying themselves. The only hitch was when my husband's brother, the best man, got too hot in his suit and fainted right beside us while we were starting our vows. He made a recovery and everything continued as it should. I'm glad he was ok and that he was able to complete the ceremony. God is certainly blessed us with a wonderful circle of friends and family who are willing to share that special day with us. Now Dustin and I are happily married and are beginning our life together. Thank you, Lord, for these past two weeks. They have been both a joy and a challenge but I am thankful for every moment of the last two weeks of my single life.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Trial runs
Day 103
I met with my Aunt today to talk about the wedding menu then I got to visit an old friend to do a trial run for my wedding up-do. It turned out beautifully! And it was a versatile enough style that my veil could be worn in the back or on top of my head. I'm pretty excited to have her do my hair on the big day.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if we were able to have a trial run for everything in life? Think about it for a moment. Make a pros and cons list of having the ability and time to have a trial run before actually doing something. We could really make a difference in our overall performance at work or at school if we could have a practice shot at our assignment before actually "doing it for real". But on the flipside, how much time would be spent just practicing and running trials? How authentic would our final outcome be if we presented only the "real" deal instead of our first attempt? Something interesting to think about.
As a musician, I have the opportunity to practice to my heart's content. But what if whenever I went in for a lesson, I was performing my first attempt? That wouldn't make for a very productive session in the long run. I think practice and trial runs are appropriate for some things, but not for all. God, thank you for the opportunities available to practice and perfect our performances. But I also thank you for the humbling moments whenever we present our first attempts as our final outcomes.
I met with my Aunt today to talk about the wedding menu then I got to visit an old friend to do a trial run for my wedding up-do. It turned out beautifully! And it was a versatile enough style that my veil could be worn in the back or on top of my head. I'm pretty excited to have her do my hair on the big day.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if we were able to have a trial run for everything in life? Think about it for a moment. Make a pros and cons list of having the ability and time to have a trial run before actually doing something. We could really make a difference in our overall performance at work or at school if we could have a practice shot at our assignment before actually "doing it for real". But on the flipside, how much time would be spent just practicing and running trials? How authentic would our final outcome be if we presented only the "real" deal instead of our first attempt? Something interesting to think about.
As a musician, I have the opportunity to practice to my heart's content. But what if whenever I went in for a lesson, I was performing my first attempt? That wouldn't make for a very productive session in the long run. I think practice and trial runs are appropriate for some things, but not for all. God, thank you for the opportunities available to practice and perfect our performances. But I also thank you for the humbling moments whenever we present our first attempts as our final outcomes.
Easter Sunday
Day 102
Coloring eggs, decorating Easter baskets, eating chocolate and marshmallow peeps. It makes for a wonderful break from reality and the daily routine, but it's also easy to forget the true meaning of Easter, why we celebrate it in the first place. We hear many sermons and lectures on keeping the real meaning of Easter in the front of our minds this time of year, but do we really pay that close attention to the message? I found myself getting caught up in the festivities and only now am I reflecting on how poorly I remembered Easter's purpose.
Christ's rising from the grave is the significance of Easter and the pivotal point in a Christian's life when he accepts Christ as his savior. We build the foundation of our faith on His resurrection. What a shame it is that we place this concept in the back of our minds when the thoughts of getting together with family and coloring eggs come to the forefront. I am challenged, and I challenge you, to keep Christ at the front of my mind during Easter, and keeping Him in remembrance every other day of the year.
Coloring eggs, decorating Easter baskets, eating chocolate and marshmallow peeps. It makes for a wonderful break from reality and the daily routine, but it's also easy to forget the true meaning of Easter, why we celebrate it in the first place. We hear many sermons and lectures on keeping the real meaning of Easter in the front of our minds this time of year, but do we really pay that close attention to the message? I found myself getting caught up in the festivities and only now am I reflecting on how poorly I remembered Easter's purpose.
Christ's rising from the grave is the significance of Easter and the pivotal point in a Christian's life when he accepts Christ as his savior. We build the foundation of our faith on His resurrection. What a shame it is that we place this concept in the back of our minds when the thoughts of getting together with family and coloring eggs come to the forefront. I am challenged, and I challenge you, to keep Christ at the front of my mind during Easter, and keeping Him in remembrance every other day of the year.
Silliness
Day 101
Keriann's 20th birthday was today and to help celebrate, we went with our dad to Hoggy's restaurant. Her friend joined her for the weekend for Easter break and we really had a blast! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time and to laugh with my siblings and new friend, it made it all the more fun. We went to Dad's house afterward and had some fancy birthday cake from a really good bakery. There, we watched Shrek and laughed some more.
Through all this stress this semester, I am very thankful for these rare moments for ultimate silliness and the makings for inside jokes that only friends will share for silly moments to come. I will cherish these moments and look forward to the next time to break loose from life and just be silly. Thank you, Lord, for the wonderful gift of humor and laughter.
Keriann's 20th birthday was today and to help celebrate, we went with our dad to Hoggy's restaurant. Her friend joined her for the weekend for Easter break and we really had a blast! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time and to laugh with my siblings and new friend, it made it all the more fun. We went to Dad's house afterward and had some fancy birthday cake from a really good bakery. There, we watched Shrek and laughed some more.
Through all this stress this semester, I am very thankful for these rare moments for ultimate silliness and the makings for inside jokes that only friends will share for silly moments to come. I will cherish these moments and look forward to the next time to break loose from life and just be silly. Thank you, Lord, for the wonderful gift of humor and laughter.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Sanctified Covenants
Day 100
Today one of my close friends got married to her best friend!! What a wedding it turned out to be. Everything was beautifully arranged and the ceremony went without a hitch...except Steph's laughter. I don't think it would have been her wedding if there was no laughing involved. I love to see those two so happy together and it brings me joy to see that they are ready to make such a holy and sanctified covenant with each other as God commands.
Watching her come down the aisle was a wave of emotions. Everyone was either crying, smiling, looking on in awe, or watching Dylan's face as Steph walked toward him. She was a beautiful and radiant bride! I only hope and pray for the best for them. God brought them together and He will keep them together as long as they keep Him in focus. I'm so excited for them!
Today one of my close friends got married to her best friend!! What a wedding it turned out to be. Everything was beautifully arranged and the ceremony went without a hitch...except Steph's laughter. I don't think it would have been her wedding if there was no laughing involved. I love to see those two so happy together and it brings me joy to see that they are ready to make such a holy and sanctified covenant with each other as God commands.
Watching her come down the aisle was a wave of emotions. Everyone was either crying, smiling, looking on in awe, or watching Dylan's face as Steph walked toward him. She was a beautiful and radiant bride! I only hope and pray for the best for them. God brought them together and He will keep them together as long as they keep Him in focus. I'm so excited for them!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Laughter
Day 99
Steph and Dylan had their wedding rehearsal tonight. I can't believe tomorrow is their special day!! Everything went smoothly...until they rehearsed the vows. I know these two people have laughter as a major part of their relationship and that didn't decrease even during a somewhat serious rehearsal. They started to practice their vows but they kept laughing during the entire time. It was so funny to see them both enjoying themselves so much as they prepared to make their day as smooth as possible. It's a rare moment when those two aren't laughing.
I"m so thankful that they can go through life and still find so many moments for laughter. It is an encouragement that they aren't afraid to laugh and find joy in every situation. I hear wedding planning and rehearsing tends to be stressful, but Steph and Dylan took it all in stride and had so much fun with it! Lord, thank you for this wonderful pair of friends. Please bless them as they prepare for their special day tomorrow.
Steph and Dylan had their wedding rehearsal tonight. I can't believe tomorrow is their special day!! Everything went smoothly...until they rehearsed the vows. I know these two people have laughter as a major part of their relationship and that didn't decrease even during a somewhat serious rehearsal. They started to practice their vows but they kept laughing during the entire time. It was so funny to see them both enjoying themselves so much as they prepared to make their day as smooth as possible. It's a rare moment when those two aren't laughing.
I"m so thankful that they can go through life and still find so many moments for laughter. It is an encouragement that they aren't afraid to laugh and find joy in every situation. I hear wedding planning and rehearsing tends to be stressful, but Steph and Dylan took it all in stride and had so much fun with it! Lord, thank you for this wonderful pair of friends. Please bless them as they prepare for their special day tomorrow.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Inexpensive Creativity
Day 98
Our MENC chapter holds seminars about once or twice a month during the semester and tonight we had our last one. Our guest was Dr. Woodson, a world-renowned percussion specialist who does a lot with Remo drum company in creating different drums and equipment for students and young people. He showed us several different examples of all of the drums and simple instruments we could make out of ordinary objects. He made a "talking drum", taken from Africa, with tape, hoops, and pizza sauce cans. We got to turn ordinary straws into flutes and even performed an impromptu piece at the end of the session! You should have seen and heard all of us college kids getting excited over something so simple, yet so creative. This was a huge encouragement to those who are pursuing music education. If our future school district does not have the equipment or the funds for an adequate set of classroom drums and percussion instruments, we now have an idea of how to teach students to make their own. Most of what he made was from recycled objects, wooden blocks, PVC pipe, 40lb fishing line, cans, and tape. I'm pretty sure all of us wanted to go home and make a few of the instruments ourselves. I think that might be a project for me this summer depending on what kind of school district I get into. Or...maybe just for fun if I volunteer at a kid's camp or daycare.
With a pinched budget and as a newly-wed-to-be, I'm really going to be looking for ways to cut corners and to make the most of what I have available. This session definitely gave me great ideas on how to keep the budget within safe boundaries while still having a successful program.
Our MENC chapter holds seminars about once or twice a month during the semester and tonight we had our last one. Our guest was Dr. Woodson, a world-renowned percussion specialist who does a lot with Remo drum company in creating different drums and equipment for students and young people. He showed us several different examples of all of the drums and simple instruments we could make out of ordinary objects. He made a "talking drum", taken from Africa, with tape, hoops, and pizza sauce cans. We got to turn ordinary straws into flutes and even performed an impromptu piece at the end of the session! You should have seen and heard all of us college kids getting excited over something so simple, yet so creative. This was a huge encouragement to those who are pursuing music education. If our future school district does not have the equipment or the funds for an adequate set of classroom drums and percussion instruments, we now have an idea of how to teach students to make their own. Most of what he made was from recycled objects, wooden blocks, PVC pipe, 40lb fishing line, cans, and tape. I'm pretty sure all of us wanted to go home and make a few of the instruments ourselves. I think that might be a project for me this summer depending on what kind of school district I get into. Or...maybe just for fun if I volunteer at a kid's camp or daycare.
With a pinched budget and as a newly-wed-to-be, I'm really going to be looking for ways to cut corners and to make the most of what I have available. This session definitely gave me great ideas on how to keep the budget within safe boundaries while still having a successful program.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Good Times Ahead
Day 97
In twenty-five days I will be married to my best friend, a week before that, I will be a college graduate, a few days before that, I will have finished my senior recital and student teaching; about a week before that, one of my roommates will be married. It's been a stressful few days so it's nice to be able to reflect on the good times to come. I've joked around saying that I will have to get married before I ever have any downtime, and so far, that sounds about right. I'm very much looking forward to completing my senior recital, seeing one of my best friends get married, finishing student teaching, graduating, and finally getting married. Then it's off to a few days with Dustin to just chill, hang out, and get ready for married life.
I find it very easy to become distracted and discouraged by the stress in life, by those things that just aren't going the way they are supposed to, so I'm very thankful to have so many things to look forward to. I have my wonderful fiance to lean on, a supportive family, and roommates who are just joy to be with. Thank you, Lord, for the blessings of better times ahead and for keeping me focused on those good things to ward off the discouragement and stress.
In twenty-five days I will be married to my best friend, a week before that, I will be a college graduate, a few days before that, I will have finished my senior recital and student teaching; about a week before that, one of my roommates will be married. It's been a stressful few days so it's nice to be able to reflect on the good times to come. I've joked around saying that I will have to get married before I ever have any downtime, and so far, that sounds about right. I'm very much looking forward to completing my senior recital, seeing one of my best friends get married, finishing student teaching, graduating, and finally getting married. Then it's off to a few days with Dustin to just chill, hang out, and get ready for married life.
I find it very easy to become distracted and discouraged by the stress in life, by those things that just aren't going the way they are supposed to, so I'm very thankful to have so many things to look forward to. I have my wonderful fiance to lean on, a supportive family, and roommates who are just joy to be with. Thank you, Lord, for the blessings of better times ahead and for keeping me focused on those good things to ward off the discouragement and stress.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Improvements
Day 96
I've been working with all the sectionals and band kids for several weeks now. I've gotten to know them and where they are with their talents and skills. There are a select few groups of instruments that are having a harder time grasping concepts than other groups. But today, I realized how far they all have come. Thinking back to the beginning of my student teaching experience, I can remember still going over fingerings and getting the notes familiar to their ears. Today though, the trumpets were reading the notes with more confidence, breathing deeper, and hearing the notes more clearly.
It's always encouraging to see my students improve and develop a love and excitement for reaching the next step in music. I love working with them because they are energetic, fun, and so willing to learn. I'm really going to miss my band kids when student teaching is done.
I've been working with all the sectionals and band kids for several weeks now. I've gotten to know them and where they are with their talents and skills. There are a select few groups of instruments that are having a harder time grasping concepts than other groups. But today, I realized how far they all have come. Thinking back to the beginning of my student teaching experience, I can remember still going over fingerings and getting the notes familiar to their ears. Today though, the trumpets were reading the notes with more confidence, breathing deeper, and hearing the notes more clearly.
It's always encouraging to see my students improve and develop a love and excitement for reaching the next step in music. I love working with them because they are energetic, fun, and so willing to learn. I'm really going to miss my band kids when student teaching is done.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Four Weeks
Day 95
Today marks the official day that Dustin and I are less than four weeks away from being married! And even less than that and my roommates and I will be graduates! Everything is coming to a screeching halt in the world of college. We will be done with student teaching in less than three weeks, be graduated in just about three weeks, and I will be married in just less than four weeks. Wow, talk about a reality slap in the face. There is so much to do between now and the end of the year. One of my roommates is getting this Friday which just adds to the excitement!
I really don't care to look at calendars for too long; they tend to make me feel stressed if I see too much ink on a particular day...or entire week. That's how it's been this semester. You do not want to see my planner, it's too overwhelming. But yet, all of us, not just me, have made it this far. I'm pretty sure that with God's grace, strength, and never-failing love, we will all make it to the finish line and on to our next chapters of our lives.
Today marks the official day that Dustin and I are less than four weeks away from being married! And even less than that and my roommates and I will be graduates! Everything is coming to a screeching halt in the world of college. We will be done with student teaching in less than three weeks, be graduated in just about three weeks, and I will be married in just less than four weeks. Wow, talk about a reality slap in the face. There is so much to do between now and the end of the year. One of my roommates is getting this Friday which just adds to the excitement!
I really don't care to look at calendars for too long; they tend to make me feel stressed if I see too much ink on a particular day...or entire week. That's how it's been this semester. You do not want to see my planner, it's too overwhelming. But yet, all of us, not just me, have made it this far. I'm pretty sure that with God's grace, strength, and never-failing love, we will all make it to the finish line and on to our next chapters of our lives.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Busy Days
Day 94
Saturdays are traditionally meant for relaxing and taking it easy. I don't think I've had one of those in quite some time. Today was no exception. I had a dress fitting in the morning, a bridal shower in the afternoon, and a formal banquet in the evening. I don't mind busy days but this one was one for the books. The dress fitting was fun and my sister and I were able to visit our aunt while we were being fitted; the bridal shower brought together friends, family, and future family together to have fun, celebrate Dustin's and my wedding, and enjoy delicious food.
The banquet, however, was a different story. It was held in Cincinnati, two hours away from where the bridal party was held, so Dustin picked me up from the bridal shower and we headed towards the south. First off, we ended up leaving the shower late because of the clean-up and good-byes, then I forgot to print off directions so we had to call up some of my friends and get directions from them. After that, we finally found the location only to find out that there was a fee for parking...with only exact change. So we had to borrow money from another friend of mine (she was a life saver!). Walking up to the entrance, Dustin forgot to change into his dress shoes and had to run back to the car to change quickly while I waited at the main entrance. Once inside, though, we arrived just in time for dinner to be served and we finally were able to enjoy an evening together with friends, good food, music, and great conversations.
Now that I'm home, I feel like I could plop over onto my laptop right now and fall sound asleep. Today was jam-packed with things to do and places to be, but it was so worth it. I was able to visit with friends and family as well as hit the town with Dustin. Busyness is the story of my life, but it's days like this that make me thankful for them.
Saturdays are traditionally meant for relaxing and taking it easy. I don't think I've had one of those in quite some time. Today was no exception. I had a dress fitting in the morning, a bridal shower in the afternoon, and a formal banquet in the evening. I don't mind busy days but this one was one for the books. The dress fitting was fun and my sister and I were able to visit our aunt while we were being fitted; the bridal shower brought together friends, family, and future family together to have fun, celebrate Dustin's and my wedding, and enjoy delicious food.
The banquet, however, was a different story. It was held in Cincinnati, two hours away from where the bridal party was held, so Dustin picked me up from the bridal shower and we headed towards the south. First off, we ended up leaving the shower late because of the clean-up and good-byes, then I forgot to print off directions so we had to call up some of my friends and get directions from them. After that, we finally found the location only to find out that there was a fee for parking...with only exact change. So we had to borrow money from another friend of mine (she was a life saver!). Walking up to the entrance, Dustin forgot to change into his dress shoes and had to run back to the car to change quickly while I waited at the main entrance. Once inside, though, we arrived just in time for dinner to be served and we finally were able to enjoy an evening together with friends, good food, music, and great conversations.
Now that I'm home, I feel like I could plop over onto my laptop right now and fall sound asleep. Today was jam-packed with things to do and places to be, but it was so worth it. I was able to visit with friends and family as well as hit the town with Dustin. Busyness is the story of my life, but it's days like this that make me thankful for them.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Senior Moments
Day 93
One of our professors from two years ago invited us senior music majors over for an end-of-the-year dinner at her house. She has always invited us over when she taught us. Her culinary skills are always amazing and we always leave stuffed. I'm so thankful for her kindness, cooking, and care for us students. She has always shown a sincere interest in our success and our lives in general. I know that those of us who are graduating will miss her.
One of our professors from two years ago invited us senior music majors over for an end-of-the-year dinner at her house. She has always invited us over when she taught us. Her culinary skills are always amazing and we always leave stuffed. I'm so thankful for her kindness, cooking, and care for us students. She has always shown a sincere interest in our success and our lives in general. I know that those of us who are graduating will miss her.
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