Car Rides

Day 39
I think my most "spiritual" moments are in the car, driving down the road.  Today was rough.  I nearly missed an important registration for potential education job interviews, realized I had a ton of work to catch up on before the start of the week, and felt like nothing had been going right for me in the education world.  I am writing this update a day late because I needed the time to calm down and recollect my thoughts and emotions so I could actually focus on the good that came out of that day. 
It just feels like I've been fighting the education department all year trying to get things done, paperwork turned in on time, finishing my graduation requirements properly, etc.  That on top of a strenuous financial situation adds up to a stressful year, tonight in particular. 
Anyway, as I was racing down the road to try to make the registration on time, I cried all the way there.  It was one of those unstoppable cries.  As much as I wanted to, and not smear my makeup, it was hard to stop the waterworks.  But everything turned out fine.  I was able to register and ended up in an interview that night. 
On the way back home, I cried a little more.  But at the same time, I was talking to God, asking Him to please show me where He wants me to be in life right now and in the upcoming months and years.  I know I will be married and living in Ohio, but it seemed like I was missing something.  As I prayed out loud, I realized I had been the commander of my life.  I haven't done a great job of keeping up with any devotional, Bible reading, or accountability.  God was gracious enough to make me see that.  As much as I wanted to do something, change any aspect of my life now and in the future, I need to realize that it has to be in God's hands, with absolute trust in Him that He is in control.  He's still showing me things, and I'm thankful that He is.